Exactly how I felt
It was the end of the 2020-21 school year when I took comfort in this psalm of David. His expressions of agony, exhaustion, and misery was exactly how I felt.
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You, God, know my folly;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
6 Lord, the Lord Almighty,
may those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me;
God of Israel,
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me.
7 For I endure scorn for your sake,
and shame covers my face.
8 I am a foreigner to my own family,
a stranger to my own mother’s children;
9 for zeal for your house consumes me,
and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.
10 When I weep and fast,
I must endure scorn;
11 when I put on sackcloth,
people make sport of me.
12 Those who sit at the gate mock me,
and I am the song of the drunkards.
What the Lord was doing
It took delving into a lot of other passages for me to understand what the Lord was doing in my life. The gist of all of the following passages (I encourage you to look them up) is his steadfast promise to always be working for the good of his people.
- 1 Peter 1:6-7 We’re told we will rejoice though grieved by various trials because God uses them to test the genuineness of our faith, which will result in praise, glory, and honor at Christ’s return.
- James 1:2-4 God communicates to count our trials as joy because the testing of our faith produces perseverance. We see God’s mercy and grace in verse 4 when he says we should let perseverance finish its work. We are not commanded for perseverance to have its full effect, we’re encouraged to allow it to have its full effect so we will become mature and complete.
- Romans 5:3-5 Again, God breathes out through his Word for us to rejoice in our sufferings. The suffering we endure produces endurance, character, and hope. We will not be put to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the gift of the Spirit.
- Job 23:10 When the Lord tries us, it is so we come out refined as gold. (Also see Psalm 17:3, Proverbs 17:3, and Psalm 66:10 to confirm that God does indeed test his children.)
- Isaiah 48:10 The furnace God tries us in is called the furnace of affliction. The point? To refine us.
- Isaiah 38:17 The suffering is for our benefit.
*Please note these passages do not have to do with suffering through abuse. God could ask us to take joy in being the victim of abuse. Such an ask would be against his character.
How this particular time of suffering ended
13 But I pray to you, Lord,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.
14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.
15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, Lord, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.
17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
18 Come near and rescue me;
deliver me because of my foes.
God delivered me as he has many times in the past and as he will continue to deliver me in my future trials. Our God delivers his people because he understands affliction in the person of Christ. Jesus took on the ultimate trial and suffering for our redemption. We see him foreshadowed in Psalm 69:19-21. “You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed; all my enemies are before you. Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none. They put gall in my food and gave me vinegar for my thirst.” Jesus died of a broken heart. There was no one to comfort him, and he actually was given gall (or bile) and vinegar on a sponge for his thirst (Matthew 27:34, 48; Mark 15:36; Luke 23:36; John 19:29). Remember the trials we face in life are worth the heartache and heartbreak because a believer’s faith is being tested as genuine and will result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ, the ultimate sufferer who reigns victorious. May the trumpet marking his return sound soon! Until then, repent, believe, fight, be bold, and rejoice.