Sometimes in my self-absorption, I forget how to pray. I find myself praying for what (I think) I need rather than asking the Lord to give me what he knows I need. Why do I think I know, better than my Father, what is best for me?
I had a professor of Proverbs teach that a proverb needs to be read like a cow chewing on cud. We should swallow just one proverb, ponder it, re-chew it, then digest it before moving on to another proverb. When I recently chewed on Proverbs 30:7-9, it helped me understand how to pray.
7 Two things I ask of you;
deny them not to me before I die:
8 Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me,
9 lest I be full and deny you
and say, “Who is the Lord?”
or lest I be poor and steal
and profane the name of my God.
As I digested this proverb, I understood that contentment does not come from a change in our financial, relational, or health related circumstances, but from waiting on the Lord to give us what is needed.
Feed us, Father, not with what we want, but with what is needful for us.
I once had to hold down my (at the time) two-year-old son at an urgent care facility because a fall at our house left a gash in the back of his head. The doctor needed to put numbing cream on the wound to prep it for the staples that would follow, and he asked me to help the nurse hold my son as he applied the cream. I felt sick to my stomach as I listened to his scream and felt his body flail, but I knew he needed the numbing cream on his head so the staples could go in and close the gash. My two-year-old did not want his head touched, but he needed staples to close the wound. I laid my body over his and prayed –
Feed him, Father, not with what he wants, but with what is needful for him.
The same child who had staples in his head as a two-year-old was worshiping his creator through a song this past Sunday at church. His little palms laid open as he sang. He was ready and willing to receive his portion from his Father. His posture was saying –
Feed me, Father, not with what I want, but with what is needful for me.
We pray because it changes us. It aligns our hearts to God’s. It doesn’t necessarily get us what we want, but if we trust that God has our needs and our best in mind, it will get us what we need.
Whatever your circumstance, whatever your age, however many times a day, pray (palms open if you want) . . . Feed me, Father, not with what I want, but with what is needful for me. Allow him to hover over you and hold you as you kick and scream and flail, and know that he is praying over you – I want to feed you with the food that is needful for you. I know what’s best for you. It pains me to see you like this, but I know the gashes of your heart that need the healing staples of my love. Trust me. I love you. You’re mine.