On a swing in a beautiful Carolina forest, sat a brokenhearted girl. It was the year 2000. I had just graduated from seminary in Orlando, and the guy I was dating broke up with me. We were classmates at seminary, good friends, and in love. He told me he wanted to marry me, and I thought I was going to marry him. So, I was completely shocked when he ended our relationship.
The Breakup
My graduation from seminary was a glaring reality in the spring of 2000, and I had to make a decision about where I would live after graduation. The guy I was dating had another year in Orlando before his graduation, so I asked him what he wanted me to do about looking for jobs. Did he want me to look for a job in Orlando to be near him, or should I look for a job outside of Orlando? He replied – You can look for jobs outside of Orlando. There’s no reason for you to stay here. My heart broke. The same guy who said he wanted to marry me was letting me go. He did not fight for me to stay in Orlando, so I moved back home to South Carolina after graduation.
Soon after graduation, I went with my family to a place that means the world to me. It is a massive forest in the low country of South Carolina where we vacation every summer. I have so many memories in this forest. This memory, however, was not pleasant. I was sitting on a swing in the forest outside of our cabin with no idea what I was doing with my life, and I was hurt.
The Promise
This particular week at the forest, I was reading Song of Solomon, which felt like cruel punishment. Here I was reading a book of the Bible that poetically describes the love between a husband and a wife, and my hope for such a love had been crushed. Nonetheless, it was where the Lord had me in his Word, and here is the reason. God had a promise to give me through Song of Solomon.
On the swing, I opened up my Bible and picked up where I had left off in Song of Solomon. I read these words –
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Solomon 2:3 (NIV)
I thought – I’m in a forest. So, I started looking around at the trees and noticed all the trees were tall pine trees, which did not provide shade or fruit. I envisioned what an apple tree would look like among the tall pines, and I knew what God was telling me. He was saying – Andrea, the guy you were dating will never be an apple tree for you. You need to wait on me to bring you your apple tree. Your husband, the one I will bring you, will provide you with shade and nourishment. Wait on your apple tree. Wait on me.
Going Off Course
We got back from the forest, and I started looking for jobs while allowing the Lord to put the pieces of my broken heart back together. I held on to the promise he gave me that he would bring me a man who would be like an apple tree among men. Then, I got a call . . .
The guy who broke my heart called and asked if he could talk to me face to face. He had driven from Orlando to my hometown in South Carolina and wanted to meet me on my college’s campus (also in my hometown). So, I drove to meet him and hear him out. He said everything a girl would want to hear – how he had made the biggest mistake in letting me go, had cried everyday, and couldn’t go another day without me. What happened next was nothing I expected. After he expressed his love for me, he got down on his knee and proposed.
I was confused. I felt glad and hurt all at the same time. I thought – what an incredible romantic gesture, why did he not do this before I left Orlando, this feels great to have him express his love for me by asking for my hand in marriage, but wait . . . God made me a promise, God started to heal me, God told me to wait on him. All of these thoughts flooded my mind within seconds while this man was on his knee. I asked him to stand up and said we needed to talk. After a long conversation, we decided we would start dating again. I knew what God had told me on the swing in the forest, but I allowed the confusion of my heart to dictate my decision. I will never forget thinking – this guy and I already know so much about each other. It would be easier for me to marry him rather than starting over with someone else, and who knows when someone else would come along. The guy before me was at least real. The promise of a guy who would be like an apple tree was not right in front of me like this guy.
I was not trusting God. I had twisted his promise to fit my timeline and what I could see with my eyes, the exact opposite of faith (Hebrews 11:1).
Time marched on. I took a job in Atlanta. The guy I was dating, again, continued to live in Orlando. We dated long distance for a few months then I broke up with him during one of his visits to Atlanta. Nothing had changed in our relationship. He was a good guy, but he couldn’t be what I needed him to be, and I knew it wasn’t fair to demand him to be a person he wasn’t, so I said goodbye.
The Promise Fulfilled
Here’s what is crazy about time. God is sovereign over it, he moves outside of it, yet he works within the details of it and uses it to bring healing and fulfill his promises.
Months after the final breakup, another man named David walked into my life. I was not ready to jump into another dating relationship, and when I expressed my reservations, David very calmly and confidently replied – If you just need a friend, I’ll be your friend. So, he was my friend, and has been for sixteen years. I married him, and here is how it happened.
David slowly pursued me. We got to know each other then dated, all in a year. The day he proposed was a fairytale story. He had written seven letters that he placed in the hands of seven different friends who were scattered around Atlanta at some of my favorite spots. The first letter was read to me purposefully in a sanctuary because “a sanctuary is where we will begin our life together.” When those words were read, I knew a proposal was coming. I just didn’t know when. The first letter and each consecutive letter had a clue at the end as to where I was to go next. Each time I would drive to the clue, I would find a friend ready to read me a letter and pray with me. After six letters, I was guided back to the church where I worked. As I pulled up to the church, there stood David in front of his car holding a huge bouquet of flowers. He looked at me and said, “Hop in. We have a little drive.” We were in the car driving North. In the car, we talked about the morning. He also had puzzles for me to solve, notes for me to read, and a CD (shows our age) of music for me to enjoy. Two hours later, we pulled up to my sister’s house. She was the seventh person reading the seventh letter.
After the seventh letter, we went on a picnic he and my sister had planned. There was tons of food and gifts for me to open. The day was not over, though. We got back in the car heading East. As we drove, I knew he was taking me to one of my two favorite places, the Carolina coast or the Carolina forest. We pulled off the exit for the forest. He drove down the gravel road to my family’s favorite cabin, and we got out of the car to sit and enjoy the beauty surrounding us. It was at this point David got down on his knee and proposed. After the excitement of realizing we were engaged, we sat back down. We were on the very swing where God gave me his promise two summers before. I paused in awe of God’s goodness, looked at David and said – You are my apple tree. He, not knowing the story of the promise given to me at the exact spot where we were sitting, looked at me confused. I ran to his car to get my Bible, read him Song of Solomon 2:3, and told him what God promised me two years before.
Song of Solomon 2:3 is engraved on David’s wedding band. He is my promised apple tree. I share this story to exclaim with the psalmist –
3 Glorious and majestic are [the Lord’s] deeds,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the Lord is gracious and compassionate. Psalm 111:3-4 (NIV)
On a swing, I experienced one of God’s wonders to be remembered, his graciousness and compassion personal to me. I never would have dreamed or imagined the Lord would bring his promised apple tree to me at the exact spot where I sat two years prior brokenhearted.
For our fifteenth anniversary, David got me the swing. Through soliciting the help of my sister and niece, the forest’s rangers, and friends in Greenville, the swing is now sitting in our backyard. The swing is a symbol to me of God’s faithfulness. When Christ returns or when I pass away, whichever happens first, I will not have the swing. I won’t need it. I will be with my God. For now, though, I can gaze out the windows at the back of my house and be continually reminded of one of God’s glorious deeds.
It may not be about an apple tree, but God has so much he wants to say to you through his Word. Open it. Dive into it. Wrestle with it. Ask questions. Store it in your heart and mind. Refresh yourself with it. Allow it to challenge you, shape you, and guide you. Cling to God’s Word and his promises. Let him show you his wonders and glorious deeds.